X-Symantec-TimeoutProtection: 0 Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@fathersonline.org Delivered-To: info@fathersonline.org Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id DFD2DBEE3 for ; Sun, 1 Apr 2007 09:06:16 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 07782-09 for ; Sun, 1 Apr 2007 09:06:03 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (fathersonline.org: No applicable sender policy available) receiver=marlin.fishinternet.com.au; identity=mfrom; envelope-from="info@fathersonline.org"; helo=sydney.bosweb.com.au; client-ip=150.101.126.110 Received: from sydney.bosweb.com.au (eth3951.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.126.110]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 8BD30BEE2 for ; Sun, 1 Apr 2007 09:05:59 +1000 (EST) Received: from SYDNEY ([127.0.0.1]) by sydney.bosweb.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sun, 1 Apr 2007 09:05:58 +1000 Thread-Topic: The Power of Words Reply-To: Message-ID: <414d01c773e9$24a70bd0$1401a8c0@bosweb.local> thread-index: Acdz6SSiVxOr2osFTjq1RvqS1MY30A== From: To: Subject: The Power of Words Date: Sun, 1 Apr 2007 09:05:58 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_414E_01C7743C.F6531BD0" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Windows 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.2826 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 31 Mar 2007 23:05:58.0285 (UTC) FILETIME=[24A70BD0:01C773E9] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au X-NAS-BWL: Found match for 'info@fathersonline.org' on the allowed list (2258 addresses, 0 domains) X-NAS-Classification: 0 X-NAS-MessageID: 10728 X-NAS-Validation: {FF825B7A-B161-40BD-90F8-3582DAE91A1E} This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_414E_01C7743C.F6531BD0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 240 - 26th March, 2007 Go to our website Here * Hello Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * Special Feature * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Warwick Words are powerful. Our destiny is controlled by our words and so are our relationships. If we sow words of negativity, complaining and ridicule, we reap a harvest of the same. Paul Lewis says, 'A father's words are like a thermostat that sets the temperature in the house.' A father's words are very powerful and potent for a number of reasons. Firstly, because he is a man. Secondly, being a father pushes you up a notch because you are the creator of a child. The same goes for a mother, by the way, but I would argue that Paul Lewis is right and that a father's words can do more good and harm that a mother's words. Let me give you one simple explanation as to why I think this is true. Some of you might know that I am involved in music and TV production and I have a musical background. I love to study the science of sound. Much of the study of sound and they way we hear has a lot more to do with psychology than pure science. Every person on earth hears differently, but one thing is very clear: if you want to give a message authority, pump up the bass frequencies. Who do you suppose pumps out the most bass frequencies amongst the genders? You guessed it, the male of the species. So even though women are purported to talk more than men and could well be better at using language, a father's words carry more authority and can therefore affect the atmosphere more quickly. I might be noted that in the study of Quantum Theory and the power of word and thought, there are a range of experiments that show both word and thought can affect the future, but I will talk about this in another article. The bible, one of the oldest wisdom books in the world says, 'As a man thinks, so he is.' Another wise figure said, 'You will have whatever you say.' So when I received the enclosed Special Feature from Matthew, one of our readers, his words and his story really hit me hard. Matthew's father died of prostrate cancer on 4th March 07, a matter of only 4 weeks ago. Matthew stayed overnight with his father in the hospital and helped nurse him for the last five days of his life. More importantly he wrote a tribute to his father last year which we have included as the Special Feature. What a powerful way to use words for Good. 'Life and Death are in the power of the tongue'. With our tongue we can bring a blessing or a curse. That is why it is so important that we use the right words and stay away from negative words. Dale Carnegie said, 'Don't criticise, condemn or complain.' The Sermon on the Mount says much the same. Words, whether spoken or written have enormous power. The challenge is to direct a blessing with our words to those we love that will lift their spirits and bring healing to their hearts, 'for with the measure you deal to others, it will be dealt out to you'. As we lift others, we lift ourselves. Please read Matthew's letter to his dad and be inspired to put pen to paper and even get on the phone or personally face to face, say the same words of love to those you love and watch what a difference it makes. Lovework This week is all about you using your bass frequencies to share the message of your heart with those that you love. Write out a tribute and message of thanksgiving for your father and mother. You need to spell it out. You need to tell them. If you can't do it for your mum or dad, do it for your wife. If you can't do it for your wife, do it for your children. Better still, do it for all of them, but most of all do it with words. Yours for the power of words Warwick Marsh PS Please write a tribute or thank you letter to one or all of your loved ones this week and then be good enough to share your story with the readers of fathersonline. Your inspiration might start a revolution. Your revolution might change the world. How exciting! ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads While I don't minimise the vital role played by a mother, I believe a successful family begins with her husband. James Dobson back to top Laughter back to top Single Dads Dear Warwick, It is with much sadness that I write to inform you that dads in distress Inc will be forced to close its doors and disconnect its emergency 1300 number come July unless adequate operational funding can be secured. Our current funding under the 'Stronger Families Strategy' culminates in July and we have been told that there is no funding available to us under that dept again.The group has been operating with limited funding over the past 7 years through the help of big hearted men including yourself. Unfortunately we have lost a lot of good men who had great expertise but put simply 'had to eat'. These men have given hours and hours of their free time in order to help those less fortunate then themselves. We will be forever grateful to those that have donated their time and energy to the plight of fatherlessness in this country. Unfortunately there comes a time of realisation. We just cannot continue as we have been. The demand for our services is ever increasing and we are unable to adequately meet the needs of the increase. Dads in distress has 50 groups operating nationally, engages anywhere between 400-500 men on a weekly basis, has a website exceeding 5 million hits annually, runs a 1300 number manned by volunteers 24/7, trains around 50 facilitators yearly in suicide intervention and group work, operates a drop in centre at Coffs Harbour, provides free counselling and referrals to those in need. We have become a community, a community of dads just seeking a fair go, a community of dads who simply want to continue their relationship with their children after divorce or separation. This community unfortunately is about to be shattered. It seems this Government is unable to find the box that we fit in when it comes to funding. We are not the only ones. The successful and proven Community based peer support model that we run saves the Government millions of dollars a year through the support offered by hundreds of volunteers nationally.We have even be offered to take the model overseas to several countries,(maybe we can secure funding from overseas). We have applied for funding under the National Suicide Prevention Strategy unsuccessfully. We are still awaiting DGR status and seem to hitting a brick wall when asking Government to adequately fund us. Sad isn't it when the Government announced in the 2005 budget $75.7 million dollars for the DV campaign yet near nothing is given to the plight of men suffering the same. Mensline is funded at $2.8 million dollars a year and rightly so, but Mensline and many funded agencies including the CSA refer men to us. We do the face to face work and battle to be funded. If we had just 1 tenth of Mensline's funding we could continue. Unfortunately no ones listening......Tony Miller dids Email: dids@nor.com.au 1. why we do it (the need) Separation, Divorce and Male Suicide 1.1. Australian and International research and studies into male suicide point to is a significant connection between male suicides and relationship breakdowns, including divorce and separation 1.2. Some 42% of first marriages end in divorce. The AIFS indicates that in 1994 men were most likely to divorce between the ages of 30-49 years. 1.3. Australian research indicates that divorce is rated as one of the most distressing life events for men and women. 1.4. Children and mothers have traditionally been the focus of research on well-being after divorce, whereas only limited attention has been paid to the distress of fathers following divorce (Stone, 2001). 1.5. According to Australian suicide researchers Dr Chris Cantor and Dr Pierre Baume, men are most vulnerable in the period immediately after separation. 1.6. At the Men's Health Conference in 2001, it was suggested by the then assistant director of the Federal Men & Family Relationships' program, that one separated man commits suicide each day (Orkin 2001). 1.7. Research by Cantor on suicides in QLD over 1990?2, shows that separated men are 6 times more likely to suicide than married men, and this was greatest in the age group up to 29 years. Separated males aged 30-54 are 12 times more likely to suicide than separated women. (Cantor & Slater 1995). 1.8. The QLD Health Suicide Research Project is a study of some 2600 suicides in QLD for 1990-95. In a sub-group (n=294) that reported on relationship separation and length of time, 73% of suicides occurred within one month of the relationship change. 1.9. A study of 4000 suicides by Griffith University found that 70% of adult male suicides were caused by relationship breakdowns. Research has also found that separated men have a suicide rate about 6.2 times that of married men, and about 12 times that of separated women. 1.10. Divorce multiplies men's suicide risk, making them nearly 9.7 times likelier than women to commit suicide even after controlling for other risk factors, according to a study by Augustine Kposowa, a University of California at Riverside sociologist 2003 . 1.11. Relationship breakdown is a major trigger for male suicide, exacerbated by men's experiences with the family law system. This conclusion was supported by a study involving 15,000 Australians, released this week by the Australian Institute for Suicide Research and Prevention at Griffith University, which found relationship breakdown to be the main cause of suicide, with the male risk four times that of females. 1.12. Twice as many divorced men kill themselves, compared to single and married ones. 1.13. Recent research into male suicide in this age group revealed that males in the 'separation phase' of a marriage break-up were most at risk of suicide, compared with widowed or divorced males... Relationship breakdown is a significant characteristic of male suicide in the 24-39 age bracket. The anxiety and emotional pain of separation and divorce appear to effect men differently. LifeForce, Wesley Mission 2001 1.14. 'There is a concern that men are less likely to use mental health services,' Links says. 'Men don't reach out for help or don't feel existing services meet their specific needs. This might be a factor for the significantly higher number of male suicides compared to the number for women.' 1.15. The Federal Government is proposing to spend $2 million over the next three years on suicide prevention for men aged 25 to 44 - a pittance compared to the $31 million spent in the 1990s on youth suicide. back to top Special Feature Dear Fatherhood Foundation My father died last Sunday 4/3/07 of prostate cancer aged 69. I helped nurse him in last 5 days of his life, staying overnight in hospital with him one night. The pain and agony he suffered must have been excruciating. I am writing this article for 2 reasons. The first is to urge all men to get themselves regularly checked for prostate cancer (my Dad's cancer was only detected 18 months before his death). The second is that we all should take the time to write a tribute to our parents. Don't leave it too long!! Mine took 2 weeks from the time I heard the idea until I put pen to paper because I had to let go of a lot of past hurts. I hope the following encourages others to act now on both fronts. A TRIBUTE TO YOU DAD 18/12/06 This will probably come as a surprise to you, it will probably seem disjointed and you will probably need help reading it. But know this for certain, every word of it comes from my heart. The first thing I want to say is that I love you so much!! I might not always show it, but I do. I am sorry for all the things I did wrong as a son and I wish that things could have been different, but maybe if they had, God wouldn't have moulded us in to the men of God we are today. Thank you for taking me to all the cricket matches and all the BMX races I raced when I was younger. Thank you for taking us fishing and swimming to the beaches in WA. Thank you for the great holidays you gave us growing up in WA. I will always remember your corny jokes, your gardening and mechanical skills, your famous rock cakes, watching The Bill, and your Boney M and Nana Maskouri albums. Your love for general knowledge is something that you have passed on to me and for that I am thankful. You are a fantastic grandfather to Jasmine, Joshua, Keona, Iolana, Callum and Myah. The kids love you very much and admire your strength and courage through battling your illness. I am glad that we made amends and put the past behind us before you found out that you had cancer. I enjoy giving you great big hugs each time I see you!! There are a lot of memories that come to my mind of the time that we spent together: Christmas's and New Years, Picnic's and BBQ's, Watching basketball on TV together, Listening to your 'When I was a boy..' and Army (i.e. climbing Mt Royal) and police stories. Thank you for staying married and riding through the storms that marriage brings. It?s easy for me to be critical of you as a father, but as time has passed and I too have found out how difficult that role of being a father/provider/lover is, my respect and admiration for you has grown immensely. I know that you didn't have the best of upbringings and that as a father you did the best with what you knew how to. For that I am very grateful!! As I finish writing this tribute to you I am sure that I have left out thank yous and other things that I wanted to say, memories that I wanted to revisit and many more words of appreciation. I thank God for the time we had together as father and son. I thank you for moulding me into the man I am today. I hate seeing you in pain and suffering and wish I could do more. I love you with every part of my soul and always will. You are a great dad in my eyes and I'm thankful to God that he gave you to me as a father. Love your eldest son Matthew xxxx00000 back to top Thought of the Week Kind words heal and help, cutting words wound and maim. Proverbs 15:4 back to top All You Need is Love RUTGERS TIPS FOR MARRIAGE Kane County Chronicle (Chicago suburb) Feb 26, 2007 With half of all first marriages ending in divorce, is there anything that makes a difference in creating a successful, lasting marriage? Or, is marriage an old-fashioned, out-of-date idea? Rutgers University found that marriage relationships can remain alive and well if couples do the following: Make marriage a top priority. Married people generally are healthier, wealthier, happier, and live longer. Learn and practice relationship skills. Marriage education classes can help prepare couples for both dating relationships and marriage. Education makes a difference. People with more education are more likely to marry and less likely to divorce. Sexual activity can add stress to relationships. The majority of teens who are sexually active say they regret it and wish that they had waited. Avoid sexually transmitted infections, teen pregnancy, and HIV by waiting until you are older and/or married. Teenage marriages are more likely to fail. Teens are two to three times more likely to get divorced than people in their 20s or older. Children are easier after marriage, later in life. Teen mothers are likely to live in poverty and never finish high school. Having a child before marriage can bring problems for both men and women. Children of unwed parents face greater risks for depression, mental illness, crime, poverty, substance abuse, school drop out, teen pregnancy, and suicide. Know the person you plan to marry well. The length of time that you have known each other, as well as similar backgrounds, goals, personalities, beliefs and values increase the likelihood of success in marriage. Refrain from living together outside of marriage. Living together before marriage is linked to a less-satisfying marriage and a higher divorce risk. Contrary to popular belief, it is not likely to strengthen marriage or prevent future divorce. Strengthen your relationship with a trusted adult. Those who share their life and concerns with a caring adult have fewer problems. Whether it's a parent, relative, pastor or teacher, find an adult who is a positive role model. Take a premarital course with your partner before marriage. These courses can help you have a satisfying marriage and see how well-matched you are as a couple. Written by Patti Faughn, a family living educator for University of Illinois Extension Kane County. back to top News & Info USA Men's / Fatherhood Speaker Coming to Australia April 2007 Robert Lewis is the creator and presenter of Men's Fraternity, a three year men's training resource, guiding men on the journey to noble authentic manhood. Robert Lewis is fast becoming one of the most recognized voices in America on men's issues and is an amazing communicator and teacher in the advancement and promotion of men discovering their manhood. Robert Lewis is coming to Australia in April 2007 to provide training, inspiration and resources for pastors, leaders and anyone passionate about this vital cause. I have three website links for you to go to for more information: http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_s_GroupInformation.asp?sgID=17 - for registration, venue and seminar/training information. http://www.crsforums.info/mensfraternity/ - for information on Robert Lewis, Men's Fraternity and all the available resources. http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_r_cat_Search.asp?catID=21 all the various Men's Fraternity and Robert Lewis resources that are available. If you believe in this cause that Robert is coming to speak to Australian and New Zealand about, please spread the word and pass his information around to your interested contacts. I believe there is a strong movement in our countries at this time towards empowering men and raising the bar of manhood in our communities, families and Churches. Please join us in promoting this exciting training opportunity. Please feel free to contact me. I look forward in assisting you in anyway possible. Let me know what you need as we are only 2 weeks away from Robert coming. Thank you! Tim Smith Ph: 03 5241 3288 Fax: 03 5241 3290 Mob: 0438 551 616 Email: tim@crsonline.com.au Web: www.crsonline.com.au __________________________________________________________ Staying Healthy and Living Longer for the Ones You Love Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in Australian men after skin cancer, and the second highest cause of male cancer deaths. Every year in Australia 2700 men die of prostate cancer ? equivalent to the number of women who die from breast cancer annually. Around 12,000 new cases of prostate cancer are diagnosed in Australian men every year, but many cases do not develop into terminal cases of cancer. It is important to note that prostate cancer is potentially curable if detected and treated while still confined to the prostate gland. Early detection can be achieved with PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) blood test or DRE (Digital Rectal Examination) testing. While prostate cancer is generally uncommon in men under the age of 50 years, younger men with a history of prostate cancer in their family can be more susceptible than those without a family history of cancer. A brochure is available with further information at: http://www.prostate.org.au/BAM-DL.htm to help you better understand the prostate and prostate cancer, and to help you decide whether you want a test to see if you have an early prostate cancer that may benefit from treatment. An early test can be performed on men who have no symptoms of prostate cancer. Its aim is to find this cancer at an early, potentially curable stage. This is called a screening test. What is complicated with prostate cancer is that some cancers grow very slowly and don't threaten life, whilst others grow more rapidly and do. Medical experts and researchers are currently trying to distinguish the cancers that are a threat to a patient from those that are not. It is as a result of this dilemma that we believe that you should take an active role in deciding whether you want to be tested for prostate cancer. It is your choice. www.prostate.org.au _______________________________________________________ Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation Thanks to all who are producing this newsletter. It continues to be a source of great inspiration. Regards Rick * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation I stopped receiving your excellent newsletter due to some unknown technical glitch. Could you please put me back on the list? God Bless Mike back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God Help me bless others as you bless your creation. Help me speak works of encouragement to my loved ones as you speak words of encouragement to those you love. Help me change the world one word at a time, starting with the words that I speak and write. Help me write a tribute letter to those who are dearest to me. back to top Help Us Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_414E_01C7743C.F6531BD0 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 240 - 26th March, 2007 Go to our website Here


Hello Warwick

 

Words are powerful. Our destiny is controlled by our words and so are our relationships. If we sow words of negativity, complaining and ridicule, we reap a harvest of the same. Paul Lewis says, 'A father's words are like a thermostat that sets the temperature in the house.'

 

A father's words are very powerful and potent for a number of reasons. Firstly, because he is a man. Secondly, being a father pushes you up a notch because you are the creator of a child. The same goes for a mother, by the way, but I would argue that Paul Lewis is right and that a father's words can do more good and harm that a mother's words. Let me give you one simple explanation as to why I think this is true.

 

Some of you might know that I am involved in music and TV production and I have a musical background. I love to study the science of sound. Much of the study of sound and they way we hear has a lot more to do with psychology than pure science.

 

Every person on earth hears differently, but one thing is very clear: if you want to give a message authority, pump up the bass frequencies. Who do you suppose pumps out the most bass frequencies amongst the genders? You guessed it, the male of the species. So even though women are purported to talk more than men and could well be better at using language, a father's words carry more authority and can therefore affect the atmosphere more quickly.

 

I might be noted that in the study of Quantum Theory and the power of word and thought, there are a range of experiments that show both word and thought can affect the future, but I will talk about this in another article.

 

The bible, one of the oldest wisdom books in the world says, 'As a man thinks, so he is.' Another wise figure said, 'You will have whatever you say.'

 

So when I received the enclosed Special Feature from Matthew, one of our readers, his words and his story really hit me hard.

 

Matthew's father died of prostrate cancer on 4th March 07, a matter of only 4 weeks ago. Matthew stayed overnight with his father in the hospital and helped nurse him for the last five days of his life. More importantly he wrote a tribute to his father last year which we have included as the Special Feature. 

 

What a powerful way to use words for Good.  'Life and Death are in the power of the tongue'. With our tongue we can bring a blessing or a curse. That is why it is so important that we use the right words and stay away from negative words. Dale Carnegie said, 'Don't criticise, condemn or complain.' The Sermon on the Mount says much the same. Words, whether spoken or written have enormous power.

 

The challenge is to direct a blessing with our words to those we love that will lift their spirits and bring healing to their hearts, 'for with the measure you deal to others, it will be dealt out to you'. As we lift others, we lift ourselves.

 

Please read Matthew's letter to his dad and be inspired to put pen to paper and even get on the phone or personally face to face, say the same words of love to those you love and watch what a difference it makes.

 

Lovework

 

This week is all about you using your bass frequencies to share the message of your heart with those that you love.

 

Write out a tribute and message of thanksgiving for your father and mother. You need to spell it out. You need to tell them. If you can't do it for your mum or dad, do it for your wife. If you can't do it for your wife, do it for your children.  Better still, do it for all of them, but most of all do it with words.

 

Yours for the power of words

Warwick Marsh

 

PS Please write a tribute or thank you letter to one or all of your loved ones this week and then be good enough to share your story with the readers of fathersonline. Your inspiration might start a revolution. Your revolution might change the world. How exciting!

 ___________________________________________________________


Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads

While I don't minimise the vital
role played by a mother,

I believe a successful family begins
with her husband.

 James Dobson

 

 

back to top

Laughter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

back to top

Single Dads

 

Dear Warwick,

                       It is with much sadness that I write to inform you that dads in distress Inc will be forced to close its doors and disconnect its emergency 1300 number come July unless adequate operational funding can be secured. Our current funding under the 'Stronger Families Strategy' culminates in July and we have been told that there is no funding available to us under that dept again.The group has been operating with limited funding over the past 7 years through the help of big hearted men including yourself. Unfortunately we have lost a lot of good men who had great expertise but put simply 'had to eat'. These men have given hours and hours of their free time in order to help those less fortunate then themselves. We will be forever grateful to tho se that have donated their time and energy to the plight of fatherlessness in this country.

Unfortunately there comes a time of realisation. We just cannot continue as we have been. The demand for our services is ever increasing and we are unable to adequately meet the needs of the increase. Dads in distress has 50 groups operating nationally, engages anywhere between 400-500 men on a weekly basis, has a website exceeding 5 million hits annually, runs a 1300 number manned by volunteers 24/7, trains around 50 facilitators yearly in suicide intervention and group work, operates a drop in centre at Coffs Harbour, provides free counselling and referrals to those in need. We have become a community, a community of dads just seeking a fair go, a community of dads who simply want to continue their relationship with their children after divorce or separation.

This community unfortunately is about to be shattered.

It seems this Government is unable to find the box that we fit in when it comes to funding. We are not the only ones. The successful and proven Community based peer support model that we run saves the Government millions of dollars a year through the support offered by hundreds of volunteers nationally.We have even be offered to take the model overseas to several countries,(maybe we can secure funding from overseas). We have applied for funding under the National Suicide Prevention Strategy unsuccessfully. We are still awaiting DGR status and seem to hitting a brick wall when asking Government to adequately fund us. Sad isn't it when the Government announced in the 2005 budget $75.7 million dollars for the DV campaign yet near nothing is given to the plight of men suffering the same.

Mensline is funded at $2.8 million dollars a year and rightly so, but Mensline and many funded agencies including the CSA refer men to us. We do the face to face work and battle to be funded. If we had just 1 tenth of Mensline's funding we could continue. Unfortunately no ones listening......Tony Miller dids

 

Email: dids@nor.com.au

 

1.      why we do it (the need)

 

Separation, Divorce and Male Suicide

1.1.   Australian and International research and studies into male suicide point to is a significant connection between male suicides and relationship breakdowns, including divorce and separation

1.2.   Some 42% of first marriages end in divorce. The AIFS indicates that in 1994 men were most likely to divorce between the ages of 30-49 years.

1.3.   Australian research indicates that divorce is rated as one of the most distressing life events for men and women.

1.4.   Children and mothers have traditionally been the focus of research on well-being after divorce, whereas only limited attention has been paid to the distress of fathers following divorce (Stone, 2001).

1.5.   According to Australian suicide researchers Dr Chris Cantor and Dr Pierre Baume, men are most vulnerable in the period immediately after separation.

1.6.   At the Men's Health Conference in 2001, it was suggested by the then assistant director of the Federal Men & Family Relationships' program, that one separated man commits suicide each day (Orkin 2001).

1.7.   Research by Cantor on suicides in QLD over 1990?2, shows that separated men are 6 times more likely to suicide than married men, and this was greatest in the age group up to 29 years. Separated males aged 30-54 are 12 times more likely to suicide than separated women. (Cantor & Slater 1995).

1.8.   The QLD Health Suicide Research Project is a study of some 2600 suicides in QLD for 1990-95. In a sub-group (n=294) that reported on relationship separation and length of time, 73% of suicides occurred within one month of the relationship change.

1.9.   A study of 4000 suicides by Griffith University found that 70% of adult male suicides were caused by relationship breakdowns. Research has also found that separated men have a suicide rate about 6.2 times that of married men, and about 12 times that of separated women.

1.10. Divorce multiplies men's suicide risk, making them nearly 9.7 times likelier than women to commit suicide even after controlling for other risk factors, according to a study by Augustine Kposowa, a University of California at Riverside sociologist 2003.

1.11. Relationship breakdown is a major trigger for male suicide, exacerbated by men's experiences with the family law system. This conclusion was supported by a study involving 15,000 Australians, released this week by the Australian Institute for Suicide Research and Prevention at Griffith University, which found relationship breakdown to be the main cause of suicide, with the male risk fo ur times that of females.

1.12. Twice as many divorced men kill themselves, compared to single and married ones.

1.13. Recent research into male suicide in this age group revealed that males in the 'separation phase' of a marriage break-up were most at risk of suicide, compared with widowed or divorced males... Relationship breakdown is a significant characteristic of male suicide in the 24-39 age bracket. The anxiety and emotional pain of separation and divorce appear to effect men differently. LifeForce, Wesley Mission 2001

1.14. 'There is a concern that men are less likely to use mental health services,' Links says. 'Men don't reach out for help or don't feel existing services meet their specific needs. This might be a factor for the significantly higher number of male suicides compared to the number for women.'

1.15. The Federal Government is proposing to spend $2 million over the next three years on suicide prevention for men aged 25 to 44 - a pittance compared to the $31 million spent in the 1990s on youth suicide.

  

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Special Feature

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

My father died last Sunday 4/3/07 of prostate cancer aged 69. I helped nurse him in last 5 days of his life, staying overnight in hospital with him one night. The pain and agony he suffered must have been excruciating.

 

I am writing this article for 2 reasons.

 

The first is to urge all men to get themselves regularly checked for prostate cancer (my Dad's cancer was only detected 18 months before his death).

 

The second is that we all should take the time to write a tribute to our parents. Don't leave it too long!! Mine took 2 weeks from the time I heard the idea until I put pen to paper because I had to let go of a lot of past hurts. I hope the following encourages others to act now on both fronts.

 

A TRIBUTE TO YOU DAD

 

18/12/06

 

This will probably come as a surprise to you, it will probably seem disjointed and you will probably need help reading it. But know this for certain, every word of it comes from my heart.

 

The first thing I want to say is that I love you so much!! I might not always show it, but I do. I am sorry for all the things I did wrong as a son and I wish that things could have been different, but maybe if they had, God wouldn't have moulded us in to the men of God we are today.

 

Thank you for taking me to all the cricket matches and all the BMX races I raced when I was younger.

 

Thank you for taking us fishing and swimming to the beaches in WA. Thank you for the great holidays you gave us growing up in WA.

 

I will always remember your corny jokes, your gardening and mechanical skills, your famous rock cakes, watching The Bill, and your Boney M and Nana Maskouri albums.

 

Your love for general knowledge is something that you have passed on to me and for that I am thankful.

 

You are a fantastic grandfather to Jasmine, Joshua, Keona, Iolana, Callum and Myah. The kids love you very much and admire your strength and courage through battling your illness.

 

I am glad that we made amends and put the past behind us before you found out that you had cancer. I enjoy giving you great big hugs each time I see you!!

 

There are a lot of memories that come to my mind of the time that we spent together:

Christmas's and New Years, Picnic's and BBQ's, Watching basketball on TV together, Listening to your 'When I was a boy..' and Army (i.e. climbing Mt Royal) and police stories.

 

Thank you for staying married and riding through the storms that marriage brings.

 

It?s easy for me to be critical of you as a father, but as time has passed and I too have found out how difficult that role of being a father/provider/lover is, my respect and admiration for you has grown immensely. I know that you didn't have the best of upbringings and that as a father you did the best with what you knew how to. For that I am very grateful!!

 

As I finish writing this tribute to you I am sure that I have left out thank yous and other things that I wanted to say, memories that I wanted to revisit and many more words of appreciation.

I thank God for the time we had together as father and son. I thank you for moulding me into the man I am today. I hate seeing you in pain and suffering and wish I could do more. I love you with every part of my soul and always will.

 

You are a great dad in my eyes and I'm thankful to God that he gave you to me as a father.

 

Love your eldest son

Matthew xxxx00000

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Thought of the Week

 

Kind words heal and help,

cutting words wound and maim.

 

Proverbs 15:4

 

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All You Need is Love

 

RUTGERS TIPS FOR MARRIAGE

Kane County Chronicle (Chicago suburb)

Feb 26, 2007

 

With half of all first marriages ending in divorce, is there anything that makes a difference in creating a successful, lasting marriage? Or, is marriage an old-fashioned, out-of-date idea?

 

Rutgers University found that marriage relationships can remain alive and well if couples do the following:

 

Make marriage a top priority. Married people generally are healthier,

wealthier, happier, and live longer.

 

Learn and practice relationship skills. Marriage education classes can

help prepare couples for both dating relationships and marriage.

 

Education makes a difference. People with more education are more likely to marry and less likely to divorce.

 

Sexual activity can add stress to relationships. The majority of teens

who are sexually active say they regret it and wish that they had waited. Avoid sexually transmitted infections, teen pregnancy, and HIV by waiting until you are older and/or married.

 

Teenage marriages are more likely to fail. Teens are two to three times more likely to get divorced than people in their 20s or older.

 

Children are easier after marriage, later in life. Teen mothers are likely to live in poverty and never finish high school. Having a child before marriage can bring problems for both men and women. Children of unwed parents face greater risks for depression, mental illness, crime, poverty, substance abuse, school drop out, teen pregnancy, and suicide.

 

Know the person you plan to marry well. The length of time that you have known each other, as well as similar backgrounds, goals, personalities, beliefs and values increase the likelihood of success in marriage.

 

Refrain from living together outside of marriage. Living together before marriage is linked to a less-satisfying marriage and a higher divorce risk. Contrary to popular belief, it is not likely to strengthen marriage or prevent future divorce.

 

Strengthen your relationship with a trusted adult. Those who share their life and concerns with a caring adult have fewer problems. Whether it's a parent, relative, pastor or teacher, find an adult who is a positive role model.

 

Take a premarital course with your partner before marriage. These courses can help you have a satisfying marriage and see how well-matched you are as a couple.

 

Written by Patti Faughn, a family living educator for University of

Illinois Extension  Kane County.

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News & Info

 

 

USA Men's / Fatherhood  Speaker Coming to Australia   April 2007

 

Robert Lewis is the creator and presenter of Men's Fraternity, a three year men's training resource, guiding men on the journey to noble authentic manhood. Robert Lewis is fast becoming one of the most recognized voices in America on men's issues and is an amazing communicator and teacher in the advancement and promotion of men discovering their manhood.

 

Robert Lewis is coming to Australia in April 2007 to provide training, inspiration and resources for pastors, leaders and anyone passionate about this vital cause.

 

I have three website links for you to go to for more information:

http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_s_GroupInformation.asp?sgID=17  

- for registration, venue and seminar/training information.

http://www.crsforums.info/mensfraternity/    

- for information on Robert Lewis, Men's Fraternity and all the available resources.

http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_r_cat_Search.asp?catID=21  

all the various Men's Fraternity and Robert Lewis resources that are available.

 

If you believe in this cause that Robert is coming to speak to Australian and New Zealand about, please spread the word and pass his information around to your interested contacts. I believe there is a strong movement in our countries at this time towards empowering men and raising the bar of manhood in our communities, families and Churches. Please join us in promoting this exciting training opportunity.

 

Please feel free to contact me. I look forward in assisting you in anyway possible.

Let me know what you need as we are only 2 weeks away from Robert coming. Thank you!

 

Tim  Smith

Ph: 03 5241 3288

Fax: 03 5241 3290 

Mob: 0438 551 616

Email: tim@crsonline.com.au  

Web: www.crsonline.com.au

__________________________________________________________

 

Staying Healthy

and Living Longer for the Ones You Love

 

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in Australian men after skin cancer, and the second highest cause of male cancer deaths.

 

Every year in Australia 2700 men die of prostate cancer ? equivalent to the number of women who die from breast cancer annually.

 

Around 12,000 new cases of prostate cancer are diagnosed in Australian men every year, but many cases do not develop into terminal cases of cancer.

 

It is important to note that prostate cancer is potentially curable if detected and treated while still confined to the prostate gland.

 

Early detection can be achieved with PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) blood test or DRE (Digital Rectal Examination) testing.

 

While prostate cancer is generally uncommon in men under the age of 50 years, younger men with a history of prostate cancer in their family can be more susceptible than those without a family history of cancer.

 

A brochure is available with further information at:

http://www.prostate.org.au/BAM-DL.htm   to help you better understand the prostate and prostate cancer, and to help you decide whether you want a test to see if you have an early prostate cancer that may benefit from treatment. An early test can be performed on men who have no symptoms of prostate cancer. Its aim is to find this cancer at an early, potentially curable stage. This is called a screening test.

 

What is complicated with prostate cancer is that some cancers grow very slowly and don't threaten life, whilst others grow more rapidly and do.

 

Medical experts and researchers are currently trying to distinguish the cancers that are a threat to a patient from those that are not.

 

It is as a result of this dilemma that we believe that you should take an active role in deciding whether you want to be tested for prostate cancer. It is your choice.

 

www.prostate.org.au

 _______________________________________________________

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Thanks to all who are producing this newsletter.

It continues to be a source of great inspiration.

 

Regards Rick

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I stopped receiving your excellent newsletter due to some unknown technical glitch. Could you please put me back on the list?

 

God Bless

Mike

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Dad's Prayer

 

Dear God

 

Help me bless others

as you bless your creation.

Help me speak works of
encouragement to my loved ones

as you speak words of encouragement
to those you love.

Help me change the world one
word at a time,

starting with the words that I
speak and write.

Help me write a tribute letter

to those who are dearest to me.

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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